New York-

Derek Jeter has been placed on the DL bringing all of New York to a screeching halt. Thousands rushed into the street, many pulling their hair out, while others wandered aimlessly  muttering “The sky is falling, the sky is falling”. Cabs were left abandoned on the streets causing massive traffic jams and the subways were closed to avoid the thousands of Yankees fans who were laying down on the tracks begging to be run over. Jeter had no comment and simply shrugged his shoulders when asked why Yankees fans were overreacting to him being placed on the disabled list for the first time since 2003. Police lined areas of the East River to keep distraught fans from leaping like lemmings off of the docks and bridges. Yankees Fans are expected to come to their senses sometime after June 29th when Jeter is eligible to be taken off of the DL. But, then again, maybe they won’t. Rumors that Yankees fans have absolutely no sense have been rampant for years, especially in Boston.

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Yankees prove Money Talks, and hits the occasional homer.
True story. I’m not much of a Yankees fan. Now, my brother, Gary, is a HUGE Yankees fan. Crazy about them. Not an easy thing to do when you live in Boston, but somehow he has managed. Here’s the deal though. You ever had one of those 4th cousin removed kind of brush with something strange. We had a guy in our newsroom at the Rocky who was related to Tex Watson, one of the members of the Manson family. Not something I’d brag about, but, hey, he was a Braves fan. My family fortunately fared better. We got the distinction of being able to say we were related to Mickey Mantle. Yes. That Mickey Mantle. Not that it meant anything. He was so far down the bloodline from us (of which, I’m sure he was thankful) that our paths never crossed. So, one day I’m having this deep philosophical debate with my brother, Gary, about the whole Mantle thing and why should that mean that Litton’s have to be Yankees fans. “You’ve got to be kidding right?” I said in disbelief. ” Just because he’s in the bloodline (barely) we have to be Yankees fans?” “Yep” he answered. So I played devils advocate. “Gary, name one time we ever got his autograph? Did he ever send us one of his rookie baseball cards? A jersey? A baseball”? No. No. No. and No. “Then I rest my case. No autograph, no Yankees fan.”

And besides. The Yankees have more money than Bill Gates. The don’t earn their world series titles, they buy them. Probably at some baseball memorabilia store. Right next to the Micky Mantle rookie cards.

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